Joke - Job Interview

(Email from Sandeep)

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified.

He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked:

"What is the fastest thing you know of?"

Acknowledging the first man (A WHITE MAN), on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way.. it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.

"And now you sir?" he asked the second man (A COLOURED MAN). "Hmm....let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye ... that's a very popular cliché! For speed."

He then turned to the third man (A BLACK MAN) who was contemplating his reply."Well, out at my dad's FARM, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch.... way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

"The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" He said. Turning to the fourth and final man (AN INDIAN ), the interviewer posed the same question.

"It's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "Oh I can explain." said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom.

But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT , I had already shit my pants!"

HE GOT THE JOB

Few Jokes

An Indian found the answer to the most difficult question ever -

What will come first, Chicken or egg?

O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put onTwo Coats"

A man was drawing money from ATM, The person behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). " The first person replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"

Somethings you just can't explain

This is a joke I came across on SPo and thought it was funny. I have a weird sense of humour anyways, here it is:

A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar slowly getting drunk. A man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?" The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain." "So what happened that is so horrible?" the man asked.
The farmer then decides to try an answer, "Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over." That's not so bad, what's the big deal?" The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."

"So what happened?" the man asked again. The farmer relenting, continued "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full she took her right leg and kicked it over. " "Again?" The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."

" So, what did you do then?" the man asked, intrigued. "I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right. I sat back down and continued to milk her, and just as I got the bucket just about full, the stupid cow knocks over the bucket with her tail." "Wow, you must have been pretty upset!" but that's no reason to just sit here getting all depressed."

The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain." "So then what else did you do?" the man asked again. "Well I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. That's when my pants fell down and my wife walked in.
"Some things you just can't explain."

The Donkey's Tracksuit

There was a lion sleeping and lost in his dreams. A donkey came and started to piss on the lion and ran off. One of the lion's servants told him about the donkey and what it had done. On hearing this the lion got really angry and ran after the donkey. After running for a minute, then lion came across a zebra.

The lion says to the zebra, " Oi you kothaaaa! I am not dumb as you think. Only because you are wearing that tracksuit does not mean that you could fool me that easily."

The above joke was probably the best joke that Bhagat Singh ever told us during the trip. Obviously there was the cussing matches but that is a whole new story.